His last words were, “I’m just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn’t made dinner.”
If your kid texts you questions about the price of replacing any household item, you will be replacing said item.
When a CW is coming out of the men’s room as I walk past, I always ask if everything went well because that’s the polite thing to do.
I work for the government which means I have to enter 2 passwords in order to print documents that are open to the public.
Autocorrect changed fries to friend and I think I’ve offered to eat my friend. I’m not sure if I should clarify, or see where it goes.
15 men all vying for the chance to fight with one woman:
1. The Bachelorette
2. The American presidential race
Samsies.
I got a text from an unknown number that said “Game on.”
It’s either a wrong number, or someone wants to wear my skin like a suit.