@myqkaplan

octopus = 1 octopus
octopuses = 2 octopuses
octopi = 2 roman octopuses
octopodes = 2 greek octopuses
octo-potus = president of the octopuses

@myqkaplan

i’ve defeated every escape room there is by not entering any of them.

@myqkaplan

maybe if millennials didn’t buy an avocado toast every single day, then they could afford to purchase a house in 1955 like everyone else.

@myqkaplan

“if you could dinner with any scientist, alive or dead, which one would it be?”

“schrodinger”

@myqkaplan

“should i go into the arts?”

“can you imagine yourself doing anything else?”

“no”

“then i wouldn’t go into the arts, with no imagination”

@myqkaplan

okay, so you’re definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?