what idiot named them vampires instead of hemogoblins. pretend it’s ten years ago. enjoy yourself
*wakes up kids in the middle of the night* hey. hey sssshhhh. is pikachu just a cat with makeup on
“lassie i don’t see anyone at the bottom of this well. are you sure-” timmy felt the paws on his back. his eyes widened as he understood…
ME ONLINE: all people deserve the same rights & quality of life
ME IN TRAFFIC: I HOPE EVERYONE IN THIS MINIVAN GETS EATEN BY RABID BADGERS
“i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you’re my only hope” “use divorce, luke”
what if you thought you had met your soul mate but then you saw them put mayonnaise on a hotdog
when super mario bros. was released in russia it was much less popular under the title “you are toilet man fight turtle monster”
*on time travel bus* oh you’re going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour ’98 t shirt*
yes 911 i need to report a kidnapping. lol yeah there’s a baby goat asleep in my lap. no dont send cops you’ll wake him up
what idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
it was the busta rhymes, it was the wursta rhymes
before mcdonald’s i bet “don’t buy cheeseburgers from a clown” was a pretty hard and fast rule
dear teenage me, it’s the future. no flying cars but you will write jokes on a telephone. no don’t kill yourself it’s actually pretty fun