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Page of nice_mustard's best tweets

@nice_mustard : "lassie i don't see anyone at the bottom of this well. are you sure-" timmy felt the paws on his back. his eyes widened as he understood...

@nice_mustard: ME ONLINE: all people deserve the same rights & quality of life

ME IN TRAFFIC: I HOPE EVERYONE IN THIS MINIVAN GETS EATEN BY RABID BADGERS

@nice_mustard: endless breadsticks. bottomless fries. yawning abyss of onion rings. HOWLING DESOLATE CHASM OF POTATO SKINS

@nice_mustard: "i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you're my only hope" "use divorce, luke"

@nice_mustard: what if you thought you had met your soul mate but then you saw them put mayonnaise on a hotdog

@nice_mustard: when super mario bros. was released in russia it was much less popular under the title "you are toilet man fight turtle monster"

@nice_mustard: *on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*

@nice_mustard: yes 911 i need to report a kidnapping. lol yeah there's a baby goat asleep in my lap. no dont send cops you'll wake him up

@nice_mustard: what idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles

@nice_mustard: it was the busta rhymes, it was the wursta rhymes