@nickcreelman

Coworker: it’s dark already
Me: I know, Dan. I have eyes
CoW: it’s only 5 ‘o clock
Me: I KNOW DAN
CoW: it’s early
Me: THAT’S HOW EARTH WORKS

@nickcreelman

Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn.