all year 14 has said he hasn’t had any homework or school projects so either we hit the jackpot or shit is about to get REALLY real
mondays are the worst day of the week because no one likes you unless you’re a holiday
14 [in front of the dinner his dad made]: I don’t understand what I’m looking at.
My husband surprised my kid by picking him up early from school to take him to an amusement park and the kid was mad because he was in the middle of a math worksheet. 😂
in hindsight, grumbling about my mother having 30 pairs of slippers was ill-timed in coinciding with the arrival of my 12 pairs of Old Navy flip-flops
The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.
the kids’ music school announced a summer live family dance jam every wed at 11am, yeah ok, schedule this at a respectable drinking hour if you expect me to do this, but also, no
shoutout to everyone but my kids who both decided to do summer school killing all of my mornings forever
i was gonna go to work today but i lotioned after my shower and now i can’t get my jeans on
Not to brag in front of all the other moms at this swim meet, but my kid can swim in slow motion.
I haven’t bought my kids gingerbread houses since the year they turned them into crime scenes with chalk outlines.
guys, i almost wrote an inspirational tweet what is happening
Told the kids it’s gonna cost them $8/month to keep using my last name.
every time i take my teen to a flea market she buys a weapon, so i now know which room i’ll be running to in a home invasion
MAR 14: Pi Day
MAR 15: Ides of March
MAR 17: St. Patrick’s DayMAR 16: middle child, left out as usual