Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of nikkithecanuck's best tweets

@nikkithecanuck : It's only October 16th & I've already beaten the shit out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.

@nikkithecanuck: People. If I say I love a certain food PLEASE do not show me a picture of that animal in it’s live adorable form.
This is why I can’t eat scallops or puppies anymore.

@nikkithecanuck: Americans are just Canadians that someone fed after midnight.

@nikkithecanuck: Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She’s the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.

@nikkithecanuck: Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.

@nikkithecanuck: I must admit, my "Kiss Me, I Have The Zika Virus" T-shirt is giving me a lot of personal space inside this subway car.

@nikkithecanuck: Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I use beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver