None of my Barbies are speaking to each other because Ken got Skipper pregnant again. You can imagine the tension in my house tonight.
*seductively moistens your lips with the meatloaf
I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don’t know. I’m still working it out.
‘I am your God, and now it is night!’ I say as I turn the fish tank light off.
No, I don’t want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off.
have a nail gun and some boards laying around? show him you love him by adding some attractive wood paneling to his car
Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it’s obvious who’s having a better day.
I hate when I’m in a room with 3 other people, & I have to shove the entire kit kat in my mouth.
‘They’ll be searching for days!’ I giggle as I leave ‘sorry bout the damage notes’ on random cars at the Costco