*puts pancakes over eyes like cucumber slices*
I need a bathtub filled with chicken nuggets.
No time for questions.
I’m either going to get a tattoo today or do something real crazy like clean my closet.
The lady next to me on the plane smells like she ate a bowl of grandmas for breakfast.
Please, sir. Your gold chain is too arousing.
Sex with me is like a roller coaster. There’s lots of screaming and sometimes people fly out and die.
Glad my dog is warning me about the child walking down the street catching snowflakes on his tongue. He seems sketchy.