I love seeing cute puppy and dog videos where they’re loving getting pampered and groomed…I’ve personally never experienced a cool dog like that.
Mine always act like I’m about to sacrifice them to the gods.
My tire pressure won’t make up it’s mind. Are we married?
husband: Now is the time to start prepping for dinner, what do we want to get out?
me: How about a pork loin? I think pork loin is my favorite thing that you make.
17yo: I thought we were your favorite thing Dad made.
“The weatherman isn’t real!”
-first graders thinking the weatherman is a marvel character
My 9-year-old beat the system. I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween and he said fisherman so he got new fishing pants and a fishing vest and a fishing hat. He’s all set up now for one night to trick or treat and a whole year of fishing.
Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?
*me brushing my daughter’s hair
my watch: are you working out?
“please don’t give me the ball, please don’t give me the ball”
-memories of playing high school sports
Deleting contacts from my phone is like getting rid of jeans that I delusionally think I’ll be able to fit again–
–what if I need to call my old Dairy Queen manager from high school about an important life dilemma? What if?!
I reached for the kitchen scissors and they weren’t there so someone is very very lucky this cheese opened on the tear line like it’s supposed to.