And by noon on the 7th day, God said these kids need some iPads.
Why’d they call it a catapult and not an over the shoulder boulder holder?
Ad exec: but how are we going to reach our target audience?
Ad exec 2: we need to be able to speak their language
Meow Mix jingle writer: *deep breath*
Husband: Are we ordering out for lunch or eating here?
Me: I was just going to have something frozen here.
Daughter, from the other room: I WANT SOMETHING FROZEN 2.
You guys, I figured it out. This whole COVID 19 strain is autocorrect’s fault. Somebody asked for a protein bar but got a protein bat instead. Easy mistake to make.
Scientist 1: We’re not going to be using mice in experiments anymore. You can just hand those over.
Scientist 2: Um, you look suspiciously like 3 cats in a lab coat.
Scientist 1 glares at Scientist 2, swats pen off counter and runs sideways out of room.
My husband is volunteering to dress as the grim reaper and walk around stores where the folx are leisurely shopping and chatting.
My daughter just called me “Whatever your name is” so you know I’m killing it at parenting multiple kids over here.