I only eat people when they’re cooked properly. I’m not a savage.
If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?
🎶 I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly
*praying for world peace*
God:
The Real Housewives of Sesame Street
The fact that it’s still not legal to print your own money is bullshit.
“What seems to be the problem, officer?”
Ratatouille is my favorite movie based on a true story.
Mary had a little lamb. The doctors are all really confused.
The duck was completely silent the entire ride. Didn’t say a single word to me. Five stars.
If you ever need to find evidence to prove someone’s guilt or innocence, always check the pudding first.
From my experience, the worst thing you can say at the end of a date is, “That’ll do, pig.”
Which is your favorite Duran? Duran or Duran?
I have a hard time telling the difference between 21 Dragons and Imagine Pilots.
Marvel just revealed the title we’ve all been waiting for.
Spiderman: You’ll Probably Have To Watch It At Home