Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.
Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted that’s just your face now.
Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.
Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.
Welcome to Twitter: it’s high school except we all have gray hair.
Welcome to Twitter: yeah none of us can sleep either.
My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning.
I was putting on my shoes.
I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.
Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.
20s: lol
30s: omg
40s: wtf
Welcome to your 40’s: the waitress is not hitting on you dude.
Welcome to your 40’s: you’re older than your doctor now.
Welcome to your 40s: here’s your ice pack.
Welcome to your 40s: here’s another chin, have a nice day.
Adulthood is when sleeping in is an acceptable birthday present.