Funny Tweeter

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Page of ohheyohhihello's best tweets

@ohheyohhihello : i've decided to start saying "moopy" instead of "movie" just subtly enough that people will silently question it but will never ask. i deserve this.

@ohheyohhihello: stop naming your babies James. name him Jame. he is one Jame.

@ohheyohhihello: what do we want???

CHEESECAKE

when do we want it???

PEOPLE VERY RARELY SAY THEY WANT SOMETHING THAT THEY DON’T WANT IMMEDIATELY

@ohheyohhihello: SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: What would you like-

ME: I'D LIKE TO CREATE A SHOW ABOUT A DOG WHO FLIPS HOUSES

SE: -on your sandwich?

ME: FIXER PUPPER

@ohheyohhihello: Today I drove through a huge puddle that splashed up under my car and laughed to myself as I whispered, "car bidet."

@ohheyohhihello: BELLHOP: May I take care of your bags?

ME: Of course!

BELLHOP: [gently applies seven layers of concealer under my eyes]

@ohheyohhihello: I stole a friend's phone today and set it so it will autocorrect "I've" to "me've" and me'm really excited about it.