Missing someone is tough but you move on eventually & I’m no longer allowed to chaperone field trips.
Probably good whoever named this one didn’t get to name any other planets.
“Why does the Gingerbread Man have super speed? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Dessert goes pretty fast.”
“Please shut up.”
Remember two years ago when we found out aliens exist but were too busy fighting over toilet paper to care? Good times.
Climate Change is just a scam to sell more Climate.
My son kicked his soccer ball in to a rosebush & now I look like I got between Chester Cheetah & Tony the Tiger at a coke party.
My son kicked his soccer ball in to a rosebush & now I look like I got between Chester Cheetah & Tony the Tiger at a coke party.
I love meeting people whose three kids’ names are gibberish but whose dog is named Steve.
I love meeting people whose three kids’ names are gibberish but whose dog is named Steve.
You seem like someone who doesn’t take the plastic off before you make the grilled cheese.
Questions for people who eat Wheat Thins: Have you ever accidentally eaten part of the box? How can you be sure?
I love you but I still wish your family would just pay the ransom.
Hold a grudge? I’m still mad at a song from 1995 that confused irony with coincidence.
Shrek 5 should be a multiverse team-up with Gamora, the Grinch, the Hulk, the Jolly Green Giant, Kermit, an Orion dancer, Oscar, Mike Wazowski, Baby Yoda, Non-Baby Yoda, & that guy who won’t shut up about his one Irish grandparent.
I want to see the look on the burglar’s face when he opens the drawer full of soy sauce packets, wetnaps, & individually wrapped sporks.