Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@pakalupapito : Alarm Clock:
a device that wakes up almost everyone in the house
except for the person who had set it.
@pakalupapito: sleeping is nice because ur not actually dead and ur not awake so its a win-win situation
@pakalupapito: out of all my body parts, I'm sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.
@pakalupapito: i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13
@pakalupapito: why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here
@pakalupapito: Me: Treat yo self
My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF
@pakalupapito: i wish i lost weight as fast as i lose motivation
@pakalupapito: i’m not “cute” awkward. i’m “what the hell is wrong with you” awkward.
@pakalupapito: roses r red
violets r blue
sunflowers r yellow
i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts
@pakalupapito: 2 reasons why im fat
1) i eat when I'm bored
2) im always bored
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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