Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of pakalupapito's best tweets

@pakalupapito : Alarm Clock:

a device that wakes up almost everyone in the house

except for the person who had set it.

@pakalupapito: sleeping is nice because ur not actually dead and ur not awake so its a win-win situation

@pakalupapito: out of all my body parts, I'm sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

@pakalupapito: i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13

@pakalupapito: why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here

@pakalupapito: Me: Treat yo self

My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF

@pakalupapito: i wish i lost weight as fast as i lose motivation

@pakalupapito: i’m not “cute” awkward. i’m “what the hell is wrong with you” awkward.

@pakalupapito: roses r red

violets r blue

sunflowers r yellow

i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts

@pakalupapito: 2 reasons why im fat

1) i eat when I'm bored
2) im always bored