To anyone who hates the idea of sequels, remember that there were 181 Blinks before we got the good one.
fire doesn’t get enough credit for being inclusive. it’s always like “hey you wanna come be fire too?”
Amazon Review Guide
⭐☆☆☆☆ – I’m angry and taking my slight inconvenience out on you
⭐⭐☆☆☆ – Your product is crap
⭐⭐⭐☆☆ – Average
⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ – Great product!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Average but I feel bad leaving a lower rating
me: who wants to eat some sweet cheeks?
wife: for the last time, they’re called cinnamon buns
Me: *smiling from ear to ear*
Plastic surgeon: My bad.
day 1 of quarantine: i have stockpiled 1200 tubes of yogurt
day 2 of quarantine: my kids have just finished the last of the yogurt
gollum: *coughs on ring*
frodo: you know what, keep it
[About to invent coffee]
Guy: I’m gonna squeeze that bean so hard
Friend: You okay Greg?
[1776]
America: We want the British out[1931]
Australia: We want the British out[1947]
India: We want the British out[2020]
Britain: We want the British out
friend: what day is it today
me: it’s mar 10
friend: like mario!
me: itsa mar 10
[sorting hat sorting hat ceremony]
sorting hat *wearing hat*: not durmstang please not durmstang
smaller sorting hat: HOGWARTS!
dentist: it’s important that you don’t scratch your enamel. understand?
me: yes
dentist: great. now open wide so i can claw your teeth with these steel hooks
Me: Me and the wife are heading to pound town.
Wife: London. He means London.
vegetarian: i’m a vegetarian
every mother-in-law: so do you eat fish
eve: oH IM aDaM aNd I WoNT eAT aN ApPle
adam: wow
eve: lighten up i’m just ribbing you
adam: WOW