@pdxjohnny99

I’ve never struggled with depression, we’ve always gotten along together.

@pdxjohnny99

If Canada takes over the world we’re all going to be sorry.

@pdxjohnny99

The last time I danced in public people gave me money to find a cure.

@pdxjohnny99

I don’t sign anything if they don’t give me time to pretend to read it first.

@pdxjohnny99

DEATH STAR BARISTA: How do you want your coffee?

VADER: On the dark side.

DEATH STAR BARISTA: Debit? Cash?

VADER: Star bucks.

@pdxjohnny99

You gotta know when to tweet em

Know when to delete em

Know when to follow someone

Know when to run

@pdxjohnny99

This tweet has been brought to you by…

…Stay Free Maxi-pads…

…When your uterine lining looks like the elevator from The Shining.

@pdxjohnny99

The coolest thing about the last Hobbit movie was knowing it was the last Hobbit movie.