@pdxjohnny99
I just danced in front of my cat and he yawned.
True story.
@pdxjohnny99
@pdxjohnny99
I’ve never struggled with depression, we’ve always gotten along together.
@pdxjohnny99
If Canada takes over the world we’re all going to be sorry.
@pdxjohnny99
The last time I danced in public people gave me money to find a cure.
@pdxjohnny99
I don’t sign anything if they don’t give me time to pretend to read it first.
@pdxjohnny99
DEATH STAR BARISTA: How do you want your coffee?
VADER: On the dark side.
DEATH STAR BARISTA: Debit? Cash?
VADER: Star bucks.
@pdxjohnny99
You gotta know when to tweet em
Know when to delete em
Know when to follow someone
Know when to run
@pdxjohnny99
This tweet has been brought to you by…
…Stay Free Maxi-pads…
…When your uterine lining looks like the elevator from The Shining.
@pdxjohnny99
The coolest thing about the last Hobbit movie was knowing it was the last Hobbit movie.