Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of pdxjohnny99's best tweets

@pdxjohnny99 : I just danced in front of my cat and he yawned.

True story.

@pdxjohnny99: I've never struggled with depression, we've always gotten along together.

@pdxjohnny99: If Canada takes over the world we're all going to be sorry.

@pdxjohnny99: The last time I danced in public people gave me money to find a cure.

@pdxjohnny99: I don't sign anything if they don't give me time to pretend to read it first.

@pdxjohnny99: DEATH STAR BARISTA: How do you want your coffee?

VADER: On the dark side.

DEATH STAR BARISTA: Debit? Cash?

VADER: Star bucks.

@pdxjohnny99: You gotta know when to tweet em

Know when to delete em

Know when to follow someone

Know when to run

@pdxjohnny99: This tweet has been brought to you by...

...Stay Free Maxi-pads...

...When your uterine lining looks like the elevator from The Shining.

@pdxjohnny99: The coolest thing about the last Hobbit movie was knowing it was the last Hobbit movie.