did you ever just eat something because your mouth was closer than the garbage?
“dance like no one is watching, walk like someone is behind you trying to get around you.” – ancient nyc proverb
i bet all the girls say “i bet you say that to all the girls” to all the guys.
the big fight.
i’m glad you trained me.
i’m glad i trained you.
just saw Gravity. excuse me while I go hug the earth.
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did last night and at the beginning add the word “stop.”
“Honey, have you seen the baby? I haven’t seen the baby since I asked you to throw out the bath wat–OH DEAR GOD!!” – birth of an expression
playing too much GTA. starting to see traffic as “options.”
“When I call your name say ‘omnipresent.'” – teacher to class full of Gods
Sometimes I like to pretend an ! is just a ? squeezing through a tight space.