@phranqueigh

How dare you call me mentally unstable, on this, the day of my cat’s quinceanera.

@phranqueigh

When I was younger, I’d sit in class and think “Ugh, when am I ever going to need to know this stuff in the REAL world??” But then I grew up and discovered that I actually do have to play hot cross buns on the recorder like almost every day.

@phranqueigh

“You’re not like the other girls.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much how this works. We’re literally all different ones.”

@phranqueigh

I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed