Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of pinningnut's best tweets

@pinningnut : "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches"

@pinningnut: It's a dark stormy night.
You're scared & alone.
You hear a bump in the night.
You jump!
You scream!
Then your cat comes in the house drunk.

@pinningnut: N: Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band.

Neighbor walks away.

That is how you get people to leave you alone.

@pinningnut: I never question my sanity, I'm afraid it will answer back.

@pinningnut: My husband and I are thinking about leaving everything to our dog. What he will do with $20.00 I don't know. But I hope he enjoys it.

@pinningnut: I got a secret!
I got a secret!

Whiskey: Not anymore.