Learning minion language on Duolingo while my girl friend prepares to host thanksgiving for 48 people
Hey man be careful on the trampoline one of my buddies never came back down
(At war) you guys mind if I leave a bit early today?
Crazy to think during a small window of time that Shaq was 5’2”
95% of the ocean is unexplored which means there could be a mcdonalds down there
Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for martinis
(Seeing an old friend) do you still have your birthday at mcdonalds
Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy Derek charge his wife for martinis
Hey man be careful taking a nap. One of my buddies had a dream where he was getting chased around
cars have windows and can move. houses have windows and can’t move. so it’s not the windows that make the car go, it’s something else entirely
It sucks you can’t google something happening in your life. What does my neighbor Derek do for work
Can I come over. I got the zoomies and you have an open floor plan
(loudly in my apartment in case there’s a murderer here) I love murderers