If you feel the need to throw American cheese at something, aim for the trash.
Me: (after eating 12 fudgesicles)
Ok. Time to get to work.
You: You can actually buy popsicle sticks at any craft store.
Me: Don’t question my art.
This fall on Fox:
Baby Skully and Baby Mulder meet at a petting zoo when they both get knocked over by the same goat.
Me: I’ve invested heavily in hedgehog funds.
You: I think you mean hedge funds.
*opens door to roomful of hedgehogs*
For the record, riding my unicycle to the bank robbery was a terrible idea.
“Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone’s been dead for 5,000 years, so there’s no rush”