I only date men who have cats because they’ve been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough.
My ex DM’d me to say I’m acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he’s wrong.
Looking for a job on Craigslist. A guy wants to pay $150 to borrow a valid driver’s license to rent a car. What could possibly go wrong?
If I were Jesus I would be seriously spooked by all the buildings with giant crosses.