@pterotactful

poseidon: has anyone seen my trident

zeus: the spearmint or tropical fruit

@pterotactful

DAD: i’m sorry but your mother and i would like you to stay away for awhile

ME: i understand. who knows what could happen with this virus

DAD: what virus

@pterotactful

job interviewer: do you consider yourself a good listener?

me: 5 years? in 5 years i hope i’ll be dead