@ramenfuneral

that awkward moment when you stub your toe and accidentally summon the spirits of a thousand dead feet while you yell and curse

@ramenfuneral

me: one time i almost got trampled to death in a mosh pit
kid: did you die?
me: hmm

@ramenfuneral

happy easter everybody! remember it’s not about the bunny but when scott stapp was nailed to that cross

@ramenfuneral

“how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode” – creator of zebras

@ramenfuneral

when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something

@ramenfuneral

if i were a white vegan satanist i would constantly say stuff like “kale satan” and “i love the dark gourd” and nobody would stop me