@realHamOnWry
Wine gets better with age. That’s why it’s always better by the time you pour the fourth glass.
@realHamOnWry
@realHamOnWry
When in doubt, mumble.
@realHamOnWry
What did I learn today?
Never use a dentist with a huge inflatable molar on his roof.
@realHamOnWry
Home schooling is hard. Nine has been trying to teach me how her teacher does things all week.
@realHamOnWry
Autocorrect just changed cycle-path to psychopath and now my blind date doesn’t want to meet me in the park.
@realHamOnWry
Nuns lead a very regimented and routine life. You might even say they’re creatures of habit.
@realHamOnWry
Betty White is so tough that the Coronavirus is social distancing from her.
@realHamOnWry
Don’t mean to complain, but I wish 2021 came with a ten day return policy.
@realHamOnWry
I bought a volumizer shampoo to make my hair look thicker, but all it did was create a poofy edge around my bald spot like a fairy ring in the lawn.
@realHamOnWry
People constantly ask why I don’t add pictures of myself to my account. So here I am. I’m the one at the back.
