Wine gets better with age. That’s why it’s always better by the time you pour the fourth glass.
When in doubt, mumble.
What did I learn today?
Never use a dentist with a huge inflatable molar on his roof.
Home schooling is hard. Nine has been trying to teach me how her teacher does things all week.
Autocorrect just changed cycle-path to psychopath and now my blind date doesn’t want to meet me in the park.
Nuns lead a very regimented and routine life. You might even say they’re creatures of habit.
Betty White is so tough that the Coronavirus is social distancing from her.
Don’t mean to complain, but I wish 2021 came with a ten day return policy.
I bought a volumizer shampoo to make my hair look thicker, but all it did was create a poofy edge around my bald spot like a fairy ring in the lawn.
People constantly ask why I don’t add pictures of myself to my account. So here I am. I’m the one at the back.