My husband bought harmonicas for our kids and now I need to find a new family
3 yr old: Grandpa, did your parents name you grandpa?
Traveling with kids is just paying to use bathrooms somewhere else
If my kids ask, the ice cream container was only half full when I bought it
I love having a bowl for my keys by the door, it’s really helpful to have one less place to look for them
I told my kids I’m not coming out of the bathroom until they stop fighting, I’m really looking forward to a long nap and some me time
Useful cooking directions would read: remove package from garbage, read instructions, repeat
I like to keep our shades open at night to scare off any potential thieves with our mess
I met a pet turtle at the park and I asked the guy if he brings it there to play on the swings and slides, and he responds: “No ma’am, turtles don’t use swings and slides”, and I can’t believe he called me ma’am
With the rise in grocery prices my cashier now asks if I’m ready before giving me the total, the answer is always no but I appreciate his sensitivity
Me: In my day we all had to watch the same thing, at the same time, on the same screen
My kids: NOOOOO!!!
I stupidly asked my kids to explain why there are rocks in the washing machine, as if I’m new to this whole parenting thing
My kids baked a cake and now I have to eat it all tonight because it’d be unhealthy for them to eat it for breakfast tomorrow
My kid was searching for her popsicle in her sleep and I’ve never felt closer to her
She who has black counters shalt not purchase black cell phones