*waving arms wildly* holy shit whose arms are these?!
[Inventor of cage-free eggs] Why are these eggs in these cages
Toured a marmalade factory today. That was jarring
[thrift store]
Me: I’d like one thrift, please
Cashier: sir, we sell used-
Me: money is no object
C: we don’t-
M: I need a thrift
Pigeon: the distance a pig travels in one eon
Shouldn’t the sea be called an isntland?
Sir, I don’t know how you keep getting in here, but again, this is not what a think tank does
*rearranges underwear drawer*
Neighbor: the party’s downstairs. Please get out of my room
Are there a lot of first-person singular objective pronouns, or is it just me?
A little Caesar’s pizza joke, eh?
Daddy, why is grandma so bitter?
I don’t know, son; seems to run in the family. Your great uncle tasted awful
The baby’s trying to eat the poinsettia again
Well, maybe we should get rid of it
The plant? But we just got it
. . .Haha yeah, the plant
Poor helium. I like to imagine there’s a shelium out there somewhere, waiting gaseously
Anthropic principle: the universe must be as it is in order for us to perceive it
Anthropomorphic principle: look, I’m a talking principle!