If history has taught us anything, I’d be surprised.
I don’t drive a flashy car, but the cop behind me does.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.
I now pronounce you slowly and phonetically.
If you believe you can pass a drug test by drinking large amounts of water, you’re just diluting yourself.
When I call you Hun, it’s short for Atilla.