Funny Tweeter

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Page of rickygervais's best tweets

@rickygervais : Twitter is like being able to read every toilet wall in the world.

@rickygervais: If a swan broke my arm I'd keep it quiet. Embarrassing. "Help, I'm being beaten up by a big white lanky floating chicken." Not cool.

@rickygervais: Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: "Which God are we thanking again?"
You're welcome :)

@rickygervais: Trump worked his way up from nothing. He's going to give every American the same 1 million dollars he started with. That's all you need.

@rickygervais: RIP Ronaldo's Moth. The world's most famous footballing insect has died after a long and illustrious career. He was 6 weeks old.

@rickygervais: Jesus died for our sins.
But then he came back to life.
Pretty sure that breaks the deal.

@rickygervais: Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib.

@rickygervais: Troll: Horrible thing.
Me: Horrible thing back.
Troll: I was just giving my honest opinion.
Me: Me too.
Troll: But...

@rickygervais: I'm hoping the nuclear strike button & the trap-door for hecklers button on Trump's desk are completely different colours.

@rickygervais: Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)