Twitter is like being able to read every toilet wall in the world.
If a swan broke my arm I’d keep it quiet. Embarrassing. “Help, I’m being beaten up by a big white lanky floating chicken.” Not cool.
Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: “Which God are we thanking again?”
You’re welcome 🙂
Trump worked his way up from nothing. He’s going to give every American the same 1 million dollars he started with. That’s all you need.
RIP Ronaldo’s Moth. The world’s most famous footballing insect has died after a long and illustrious career. He was 6 weeks old.
Jesus died for our sins.
But then he came back to life.
Pretty sure that breaks the deal.
Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib.
Troll: Horrible thing.
Me: Horrible thing back.
Troll: I was just giving my honest opinion.
Me: Me too.
I’m hoping the nuclear strike button & the trap-door for hecklers button on Trump’s desk are completely different colours.
Do let me know if you’re ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You’re welcome 🙂