coworker: you should try my therapist.
me: i’ve seen their work. no thanks.
the grim reaper driving a taxi full of meats and cheeses call it death cab for charcuterie.
george hails a cab driven by the grim reaper call it death cab for clooney.
the circle does fit the square if it’s a pizza.
if my house is ever clean just know i must have murdered someone in there.
a baby will be picky about food but gladly eat an airplane.
normalize slapping the phone out someone’s hand when they use speakerphone in public.
an edibles food truck and i’d call it the cannabus.
who called it rolling over in the grave instead of a plot twist.
a wizard dating app called bumbledore
if dolly were in the holy bible she’d be in charge of parton the red seas.
frodo threw my serotonin into mount doom.
most villains can be defeeted with a simple bone saw.
i won’t rest until we get a netflix category where we can be on our phones and still understand the plot.
like a moth to a flame or a human to a refrigerator light bulb.