him: your so cute! why are you alone!?
me: you’re
him: …
me: hello? hello?
got so much cardio in today
my boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner “sometime,” so now we have to move.
ah, yes. the elusive llamarshmallow.
multitasking lunch
mom gave me mine for free
be the person your targeted ads think you should be
what’s a not gay way of asking your bro to pose shirtless for a pic that you’ll silkscreen on a body pillow?
i gotta stop wearing clothes that have recently washed up on shore
going ballistic.
anyone need anything?
hot panini’s mom is pissed, you guys.
inappropriate Care Bears be like:
my nickname in college
wishing you and yours all the best
i now pronounce you bounced.
