“what do your tattoos mean?” that I can’t be trusted with $200
dating is scary, what if I put myself out there and I fall in love with someone who’s family plays charades at holiday gatherings
I could never do polyamory not because of jealousy or anything I just don’t have it in me to keep track of more than one birthday
life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge
if at first you don’t succeed that’s so embarrassing why are you so bad at this
every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one
not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?
gwen stefani really let us down by not spelling something useful like necessary or embarrass
you should be allowed to list your landlord as a dependant
I cannot imagine marrying my high school sweetheart, sorry but I’m not growing old with someone who knows what my eyebrows looked like in the early 2000s
the world is kind of a disaster anyways let’s do a Jurassic park, dinosaurs deserve another go
If the name of a show is just some guy’s name you know its about a killer.
E.g. Dexter, Barry, Arthur
so loyal to apple products that the only birth control I use is the iUD
whoever designed giraffes was extremely high
they should hide prizes in more boxes than just cereal, I’d love to reach into my laundry detergent and find a colour changing spoon