I cannot imagine marrying my high school sweetheart, sorry but I’m not growing old with someone who knows what my eyebrows looked like in the early 2000s
the world is kind of a disaster anyways let’s do a Jurassic park, dinosaurs deserve another go
If the name of a show is just some guy’s name you know its about a killer.
E.g. Dexter, Barry, Arthur
so loyal to apple products that the only birth control I use is the iUD
whoever designed giraffes was extremely high
they should hide prizes in more boxes than just cereal, I’d love to reach into my laundry detergent and find a colour changing spoon
not sure why everyone acts like it’s so hard to make plans with your friends as an adult because my friend and I just planned our hangout tomorrow in 5 minutes and it only took us 3 months to find a day that works
I have very conflicting feelings about getting murdered because on one hand I’d be dead but on the other hand I’d be making sure female podcasters had content and I love women supporting women
anytime I meet someone who doesn’t like dogs I assume their backstory is that they were cut from their high school basketball team because airbud took their spot
When you’re Godzilla every city is a walkable city
Apparently I’m only fluent in English until it comes time to leave a voicemail
as someone who lives on earth rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid? I’m intrigued
it’s not really fair to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up because as a kid I had no idea being a podcast cohost who does no research and just gasps or laughs was an option
if I wasn’t supposed to grow up to want a sugar daddy why did we base an entire holiday around a much older man bringing me presents for being a good girl
I don’t trust scrapbookers because I feel it’s a slippery slope to ransom letters