If I died today, my boss would just hold a seance to add my ghost to some nonsense Teams call
I got new glasses with a new prescription, and I honestly feel that I can see too much right now. It’s too much sight.
*eating a brick of cheese like a stick of butter, which I eat like a burrito, which I eat like an ear of corn*
If someone tells you you’re cute, ask them to name 3 other people they find cute so that you can react appropriately.
The chip dip i ate with a spoon may not have helped my weight loss, but the diarrhea it gave me sure did.
After 2 days of dieting, I’m pleased to announce that I’ve decided to remain fat.