HONEY QUICK COME HERE THERE’S A COMMERCIAL ABOUT MENOPAUSE
So we’re agreed: if that balloon flies over any of us, we moon it like it’s 1978
In what room do you guys hang the portrait of yourself as a centaur? I was thinking kitchen. The bedroom is kinda cliche
Come back after dark. Bring your friends
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Accidentally cut down a telephone pole for firewood again
On a dark desert highway
Cool Whip in my hair 🎵
I don’t know I guess I always thought Spock would’ve had more ear hair sorry to get political
I don’t get invited to birthday parties anymore. I can’t stop yelling PICK A KEY every time they start singing that stupid song
My retirement plan is to have an abdomen that can stop a cannonball
God I love corduroy pants. If only the fire department would allow me to wear them
If I were a music critic I would write things like, “He really steered that car into the driveway” or “Her music makes me want to eat a quality pizza”
Once again I’ve been mistaken for a 50lb sack of flint corn.
I’m no fan of watching a train wreck, unless that train is pulling boxcars full of delicious delicious Raisin Bran®️
The way I see it, you have 2 choices: you can go with the grain, you can go against the grain, or you can go across the grain. 3. You have 3 (three) choices.
Me and the dogs are watching a Tom and Jerry cartoon. They appreciate the blue and yellow hues, and I like the orchestral score, but we’re not buying the improbable plot twists and we bemoan the lack of character depth