Century: 100 years.
Decade: 10 years
Lustrum: 5 years.
Together forever and ever and ever: 2 weeks.
I need an app that after the third time I press the snooze button, my phone pours cold water on my face.
No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.
My grandparents had a Radio and had 9 kids; My parents had a TV and had 3 kids; and I have Twitter and I think the family ends here.
At least dinosaurs got to watch music videos on MTV.
Yesterday I wanted a pizza. Today I’m eating one.
Fight for your dreams.
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
My life is like that Rihanna song :work, work and work, and then I don’t understand anything else.
Don’t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.
What I learned from Titanic was that u need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person u like cause u never know what might happen.
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-Knock Knock!
-Who is it?
-The love of your life.
– 🙂 Really?
-Hahahaha no, it’s the pizza you ordered.
I don’t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
• You’re born.
• You grow up.
• You believe in Santa.
• You stop believing in Santa.
• You look like Santa.
• You are Santa.
• You die.
Maybe Hitler became evil because he was mad that after so many years of lifting his hand nobody high fived him.