I wanna get on a taxi and after riding around a while without saying anything, tell the driver ‘I killed myself on that bridge 2 years ago’
Most populated places in the world:
1. China
2. India
3. United States
4. Indonesia
5. Friend Zone
6. Hell
– Hey babe, do you like how I did my makeup?
– Yes and if you want I can go and kill Batman with you.
The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they’ll erase what they did during the week.
It’s not karma, you’re just an idiot.
If you love Batman, let him go, because Batman Returns.
Some people are like water balloons; they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.
The Great Wall of China is one of the 7 wonders of the world just because it’s a Chinese product that’s lasted more than a month.
-Babe, I can’t find the condom, what if we don’t use it?
-Sure, I’m ready to be a mother anyways.
-No, no. Look, I found it!
And so the devil decided to put the delete key above the send key. The end
If you love someone, let them sleep.
“It’s not you, it’s me.” -Twins looking at some family photos
Maybe Aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.
I feel like trying new things in bed. Like getting up for instance.