“It’s impossible.” said pride. “It’s risky.” said experience. “It’s pointless.” said reason. “Ggrraadrttgrrtrr.” said Chewbacca.
Love is for stupid people who don’t have Twitter.
If money can’t buy you happiness then you’re in the wrong mall.
If Socrates had been a woman, he would’ve said: All I know is that I have all these clothes, but I have nothing to wear.
You’re born, you grow up, you start listening to a Pink Floyd song, you get married, have kids, you die, the song hasn’t finished.
Overweight people know they’re overweight, tall people know they’re tall, why is it that stupid people don’t know what they are?
While you’re thinking what to wear, I’m thinking how to take it off.
I’m so poor I can’t even pay for my own consequences.
You don’t love me? Don’t worry, the first step is denial.
God created women and the devil taught her to smile.
Grab a plate and throw it on the floor. Did it break? Yes? Ok, now tell it you’re sorry. Good, now, did it unbreak? No? Now you understand.
—What are we?
—Women!
—What do we want?
— We don’t know!
—When do we want it?
— Now!
You’re born, you grow up, have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive, you die, your kids have kids, Mick Jagger is still alive……
PitbullPhobia: An extreme or irrational fear of singing alone.
”Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.” -Jesus flirting in a bar