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@sammyrhodes : You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
@sammyrhodes: "You know what would make a good gift for this 3yr old? A harmonica." - people without kids
@sammyrhodes: Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret.
@sammyrhodes: I would walk 500 miles just to be the man who gets to eat these donuts.
@sammyrhodes: Shaving your beard is a great way to remember what you looked like when you were 5.
@sammyrhodes: Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
@sammyrhodes: 1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List
@sammyrhodes: This ice cream is legen - wait for it - DAIRY.
@sammyrhodes: Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
@sammyrhodes: Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup.