maybe leonardo dicaprio hated 9/11 so much that he can’t even date women who remember it. did that even occur to you
tossing the phrase “slappery slope” into the discourse like a beach ball and moonwalking away
did I “kill a plant” or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment
some women wear fake wedding rings in public so they don’t get hit on but I swear by my floor-length victorian widow’s veil
the cat won’t stop drinking out of my water glass I have tried everything I have tried “hey” and even “Hey”
I can’t stop canceling dates. it feels incredible. this guy thought he was gonna find out how many siblings I have and now that mystery will follow him to his grave
went down to city hall to get married and they said I have to provide my own husband? explain to me why I pay taxes