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@sarawrencomedy : PARENTS: Never accept treats from strangers!
WEBSITE: Please accept our tracking cookies.
ME: *clicks* "I accept your cookies"
@sarawrencomedy: *slurps from a spoon*
Yep this hot tub is ready.
@sarawrencomedy: Being Asian means I will look 20 until I turn 65 then the next day I look 2000.
@sarawrencomedy: HIM: Are you mad at me?
HIM: Well you're playing Sims again and removed the ladder to the pool while an avatar that looks remarkably like me drowns.
ME: So? That's how you play The Sims.
@sarawrencomedy: SIGN: Do not reach hands into enclosure.
ME: *slowly starts sliding big toe towards panda*
@sarawrencomedy: *in a fight with my dr boyfriend*
HIM: I'm sorry about last night.
ME: *takes a bite of an apple*