Funny Tweeter

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Page of sarawrencomedy's best tweets

@sarawrencomedy : PARENTS: Never accept treats from strangers!

WEBSITE: Please accept our tracking cookies.

ME: *clicks* "I accept your cookies"

@sarawrencomedy: Being Asian means I will look 20 until I turn 65 then the next day I look 2000.

@sarawrencomedy: HIM: Are you mad at me?

ME: No.

HIM: Well you're playing Sims again and removed the ladder to the pool while an avatar that looks remarkably like me drowns.

ME: So? That's how you play The Sims.

@sarawrencomedy: SIGN: Do not reach hands into enclosure.

ME: *slowly starts sliding big toe towards panda*

@sarawrencomedy: *in a fight with my dr boyfriend*

HIM: I'm sorry about last night.

ME: *takes a bite of an apple*