Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life” and it’s just they were told to unload the dishwasher.
Here’s the upside to having kids who are older:
I just sent out a group text letting them all know they’re on their own for dinner.
Me: Ugh! These jeans are too tight!
*opens bag of chips*
My husband and I keep the spark alive in our marriage.
I send flirty pictures of stuff I want to buy and he sends flirty little messages like, “I thought we agreed to save money.”
Parenthood is stepping in something wet in your socks.
Thoughts and prayers to my daughter who wrote a sentence that didn’t fit on one line.
Me: Can you go tell your brother that dinner is ready?
Son: *standing one inch from my ear* DINNER IS READY!
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but putting the dead batteries in the junk drawer does not charge them.
Good News: Your kid will finally eat something green.
Bad News: It’s avocados, and now you have to take out a second mortgage.
I asked my husband what he wanted for Father’s Day & he said silence & then we all laughed & laughed & the kids went back to breaking the sound barrier.
My husband asked if I wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride but there’s just something about a flame & a wicker basket that makes me want to say no.
Driving home with my kids & my son didn’t like the song I was listening to. He said, “Thank God we’re 10 seconds from home!” & then I took the long way home because that’s what parents do.
My husband asked if I wanted to do something fun today so I left him home with the kids.
Marriage is easy.
Well, I was having a good day until my son opened up his backpack & handed me a fundraiser envelope.
I don’t ask for much but can someone please take away the share function on Wordle?