Mom pro tip: If you’re old enough to critique what I put in your lunch, you’re old enough to make it yourself.
I don’t know what my husband is planning on doing for me for Mother’s Day but I hope it’s the laundry.
*my teenage sons being loud, laughing, making inappropriate jokes*
Me: SHHHH! The windows are open & the neighbors are outside!
Son: Well, I’m a little offended they haven’t laughed yet.
Not to brag but I can make my son angry just by asking, “how was your day?”
What I said: GO TO BED!
What my kids heard: Start looking for a toy that was lost 5 years ago.
Parenting through the years:
1st kid: Organic food only
2nd kid: “McDonald’s once in a while isn’t so bad.”
3rd kid: “Did he just eat dog food? I’m sure he’s fine.”
This wine tastes like everyone can go make their own dinner.
It’s so cute, whenever I sing along to an 80’s song, my kids ask me how I remember the words because I’m “so old”.
Parenthood can have it’s dark moments.
Like in this closet where I’m hiding eating my cake.
I don’t know who needs to see this but don’t ever answer your phone on your way home from work. They want you to stop at the store.
I’m so glad my kids have a 3-day weekend because that means I get an extra day of listening to them yell at Fortnite.
My husband texted to let me know he unloaded the dishwasher.
Like, ok guy. If I texted every task I did, it’d be a novel. Settle down.
My husband texted to let me know he unloaded the dishwasher.
Like, ok guy. If I texted every task I did, it’d be a novel. Settle down.
Went to put some milk in my coffee this morning only to realize my kids drank it all. They leave me no choice.
Baileys it is.
How’s the parenting going over here?
My youngest just told my oldest to “GET IN THE DAMN CAR!”