My husband started cooking right after I had cleaned the whole kitchen so he’s basically asking for a divorce.
I love the meaningful conversations I have with my son.
“YOU BETTER DIE IN YOUR FORTNITE GAME BECAUSE DINNER IS READY IN 5 MINUTES!”
Me: I have too much to do, there’s not enough hours in this day!
Also me: *takes buzzfeed quiz to see what my Easter Bunny name is*
“I’M COLD!” yells the teen who is wearing shorts & a tshirt in 40 degree weather & ignored his mother when she said to dress warmer.
We’ve reached that part of the day where my kids ask what’s for dinner & then tell me they don’t want that for dinner.
I’m just a mom on winter break, standing in front of my kids’ school asking, “HOW BIG OF A CHECK DO I NEED TO WRITE FOR YOU TO RE-OPEN?”
I’m not saying my kids come to me for everything but if I was on fire & my husband was 10 feet away, they’d still ask me for a snack.
Trying to remember where I hid all of my kids’ gifts will be the real Christmas miracle.
How to get your kids to stop coming with you to Target:
Son: Mom, can you buy this for me?
Me: I’m not your Mom.
Son: Mom, stop.
Me: Let’s go find your Mom.
Son: MOM, STOP!
Me: SECURITY!
Took my kids out to dinner & was quickly reminded why I never take them out to dinner.
For anyone who says parents can’t have Friday night fun, I’m at Target right now buying toilet paper.
So, yeah, you’re right.
My teens cleaned their rooms & according to my sink & countertops, they’ve been hoarding my whole kitchen.
When a sales clerk asks if you need help with anything, this does not include kids.
I know this now.
I annoyed my kids so bad they told ME to go to bed.
So it looks like this parenting thing has come full circle.
Parenthood has taught me that you can ruin someone’s day by asking “did you brush your teeth?”