“You’re free now” I say to my stomach as I unbutton my pants.
Christian Bale has done ok for himself considering he’s named after a religious bundle of hay.
*Hires life coach*
“Ok, the first thing we have to do is get you off this couch and get you moving!”
*Fires life coach*
10: Mom what’s a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
“Kids are great when you need help around the house.”
– People who don’t have kids