@scarebro

My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating.

@scarebro

Scientists use dead bodies? Jesus, I know they’re nerds but they should still be able to make living friends.

@scarebro

“For I am Christ the Redeemer, He Who Saves!”- Jesus, using his coupons.

@scarebro

Maybe your parents told you a watched pot never boils so you wouldn’t go around sticking your face near boiling water, idiot.