I’m dealing with my anger issues one chicken wing at a time.
My doorbell is the theme from “The Exorcist”.
[a trampoline that allows me to get from the couch to the fridge in one bounce]
“Kill Bill” but it’s me hunting down whoever stole my sandwich from the break room fridge.
“Woah woah hey woah”
[me attempting to breakup a fight]
Your baby is cute but terrible at helping me move.
Stop and smell the roses. Hug the roses. Procreate with the roses. Have little rose babies.
Had to do 3 cartwheels, a backflip and a verse of “Killing Me Softly” to turn on this automatic sink.
“The name is Bond, Ja-”
– “Savings Bond?”
“No”
– “Chemical Bond?”
“NO!”
– “Autobahn?”
“You know you’re totally ruining this for me”
Just to be clear, when I came over to your house I had no intention of fighting your cat.
I keep my punching bag next to the fridge to let out my anger when there’s nothing to eat.