Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@shashaintl : Him: Are you gonna kill me?
Him: Your mood swings. I figured today's the day I die.
Him: *whispers* Please don't hurt me.
@shashaintl: Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're..
Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me?
HS: ..blocking the pickles.
@shashaintl: I just owned you for three seconds. Possibly five if you're a slow reader. Up to ten if you read this again.
@shashaintl: 11: He shoots for her coffee. He SCORES! HE'S...
@shashaintl: What if I never *dramatic pause* sleep *dramatic pause* a- *falls asleep during third dramatic pause*
@shashaintl: Me: We need to go.
11: Go without me.
7: Sometimes when parents go without their kids, they get arrested, and I can't let that happen.
@shashaintl: A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself.
@shashaintl: 10 year old: What was it like?
Me: What was what like?
10: Being alive in the 1900's?
Me: Go to your room.
@shashaintl: 10's homework question: "Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?"
His answer: "My mom."
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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